lunes, 6 de septiembre de 2010

And here go again!

Hey! It seems that life is returning some of what we recently lost. Of course Inés is gone from this life but some of the dreams we made are back, like bringing a new family member to this world and hoping for a new life. So yes, we are pregnant again. We were not exactly looking forward to happen in this precise moment. But it just happened. And I am happy. I stopped the pill but we were counting the days so I guess it did not worked and I am pregnant for the third time in my life. Yes, I am very happy. I feel joy and I thank God and life because I did not go through the process of 'trying' which can be a little bit stressful for BLMs (and fathers).

I am somehow stressed, because I should have waited a little longer because of the C-Section. However I talked to my practitioner and he is not concerned, he told me that after 6 months it is pretty safe. I hope this time what is less possible "stays" as less possible. Last time the less possible became a fact. Can this time life play to my favor? Yes that is THE QUESTION OF MANY BLMs.

Eventhough I was so excited to see the pregnancy test result, it was not the same as before loosing Inés. I lost a daughter and I lost my inocence. Know I REALLY know that in life there are just two things that are certain: The first one is that life is uncertain and the second one is that one day we will eventually die. So I just know that sooner or later this new baby and me will say goodbye, because we will eventually die. I just hope this time we can get to meet each other and share a lot of time in this life (please). When I saw the result, I also felt some sadness because I knew that there is a very very long and complex process to go through before the day I can finally hold that baby alife at home. So many things can go wrong.

A million questions are raising inside my head. Because I am now very aware about everything that can go wrong. But I won't allow myself to get overstressed, because I also learned that we humans can't control everything. So in my country we say "Get loose and cooperate" when we are super challenged.

B is super happy, but let's see how we deal with this during the next months.

Inés I love you and I know you are very very happy that a new sibling is coming to join our family, your family. I know she is going to love you like us. We all love you with all our hearts. I send you many kisses.

4 comentarios:

  1. Mariana - so so glad to hear this news! Felicitaciones! I know there is so much uncertainty ahead, but I think you have a beautiful attitude towards things, and I know you will treasure every bit of time you have with this pregnancy and this baby all the more because Inés is in your heart. xxxh

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  2. I can only echo what Hanen posted. You really do have a beautiful attitude and outlook on life.
    So, Congratulations! Or tillykke as we say here! I am so happy for you. I know it doesn't take away the pain and longing for Ines, but it can give your life a new (forward) focus. I will be praying everything goes smoothly and uneventfully during this pregnancy and that you won't have to say good-bye for a long, long, long, looooong time.
    xoxo
    Stephanie
    PS I like the "get loose and cooperate" motto - how do you say it in Spanish?

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  3. Prayers to your family for a safe and happy road ahead.

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  4. Congratulations, praying that this pregnancy is an uneventful one and that both you & baby remain healthy!

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