miércoles, 17 de marzo de 2010

Pregnancy pictures

As many expectant mothers do, when I was about to pop I went to have a photo studio of my pregnant body. B, Isabel and myself went to this photo studio and they took pictures of the beautiful belly and our beautiful smiles that showed nothing but how proud, hopeful and joyful we were about the addition of Ines to our familiy. We never thought how all that joy was going to turn into bitterness and how those smiles will turn into cryings. We never thought that those pictures were going to be such a milestone in our grieving process.

She died on January the 2nd, our appointment to select the photos was on January 31. I remember that after the photo session took place the lady asked me when to book the photo selection session and I said to her that "the end of January would be a good time because earlier I was going to be quite tired and busy with the newborn". I thought that maybe Ines was going to be around 3 weeks old by then and that maybe 'that one' was going to be the first trip of Ines to our nearby mall.

I remember when the same lady called on January 30, she asked to speak with me to confirm the appointment. I could not speak to her. B spoke to her and he said: "I am sorry we can't go to the session. We have to pospone it. Unfortunately, the baby died shortly after birth and my wife and I are not ready to see those pictures, can you save them? We want to see them eventually and keep some of them, but we can't for now". He said they were very very touched by our tragic event.

I have been telling B during the past weeks that we must see those pictures and keep some of them. I called the photo studio today and asked the lady to upload the pictures in the Internet, we plan to see them today and see them together. B is actually getting home earlier and we are finally going to face the situation. I know we are going to cry, maybe we are going to cry to sleep. It is going to be damn sad.

You might get to see some of the pictures, I plan to upload some of them in this
blog.

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